Selina and Vicki told us it’s all down to choice. When you’re benched, you’re not actually playing.
It’s also known as being kept on the hook, left on backburner, or simply being led on.
We had a shorthand for our anguish. ‘Online dating has made it easier than ever to bench people,’ say Selina and Vicki. Move on to someone who can.’, MORE : 37 alternative explanations for why they’re ghosting you, MORE : 27 things you should know before you date someone with depression, MORE : 22 things you’ll go through when you’re newly single. You don't know whether to keep dating them, or dump them and move on to the next one... so instead of going for either of the above polarized options, you put [the person] in your mental 'maybe' folder and 'bench them' so you date around to see what else is out there.".
Remember when the world finally came up with the term ‘ghosting’, and we finally had a way to describe all the dates that had disappeared from our lives? What a wonderful time to be alive, we said, sobbing into a plate of nachos after another failed relationship. It’s partly a power play. If you do suspect you’re being benched – and you’ll be able to tell if the IRL meetups become less frequent, texts go unanswered, but they’ll suddenly get in touch just as you’re about to give up – Selina and Vicki have some advice. Well, good news: there’s a new way to describe all the massive d*ckheads in your life.
They’ll make the minimum effort required to keep you as an available option – which often means no face-to-face contact, just frequent texts about plans to meet up that never end up happening. When you are trying to get to know someone that you attracted to but the other person only texts you back every once in a while you might be being benched. ALSO READ:7 ways to know a guy is good & deserves a chance with you. That's like trying to trade something valuable and getting nothing in return.
Think of playing team sports.
The practice of holding out for better while putting someone else 'on hold' may sound quite selfish but really, it is difficult to condemn someone looking out for themselves and what's best for them. The first step is to learn if you are being benched. What could also happen is that during the search for something better you may lose the great person who could have made a great partner. Join us for a run-through of the dating terms you might not have heard of, but have certainly seen in action.
In essence you are still in the game but have been left on the bench, waiting for the moment that they decide to pick you again. ‘We keep our options open because we don’t want to risk making the wrong choice. ‘We have more dating choice than ever before, but it’s actually more of a hindrance than a help as too much choice overwhelms us and makes it harder to make a decision. If you have started dating someone for a while already you might start to feel that your feelings towards this person have changed. But why do people bench potential dates rather than just cutting things off, or even just ghosting? Texting is not exactly the best type of communication.
However a line has to be drawn when one person leads the other on for so long, refusing to commit while keeping their options open all along while the other has his or her hopes solely pinned on the possibility of a relationship with the person who has already benched him or her. You don't know wether to keep dating them, or dump them and move on to the next one. Benching, as coined by New York Mag, is 2016’s answer to stringing someone along, and, apparently, is a side-effect of the fickle world of online dating.. Dating experts Selina and Vicki of Project Love – an online course that helps you totally change how you think about love and dating – explained to metro.co.uk that online dating has helped benching become more common than ever before. These idea of these things may have been in existence before now, but this generation is putting cool names on them, making them easier to understand and more recognisable by people who should know about them the most. It is possible that this person is shy, busy or is not getting across to you in the way that was intended. from the bencher and keeps options open with the benchees.’. Oh hey. You may even try proposing to meet for the first time or more regularly.
According to Urban dictionary, benching is what happens when "you start dating someone you think is nice and who has potential, but you're not crazy about them. But it’s still so deeply frustrating and disappointing to be benched, especially when it’s by someone you really like. Just when you’re giving up, you’ll get a noncommital but flirty text. If you attempted to open up to this person and stated that you are interested in moving on to the next step, but your partner keeps sending you biweekly texts, then you have to take action.
It’s the worst, because there’s no way to have a clean break or move on. Benching in dating is referred to those instances when a person keeps texting you wanting to meet or maybe expressing interest in you, but never on a regular basis.